There are Many Ways to Bake a Wedding Cake

Hi there. I’m very excited to start this, my first blog and I welcome you to join me. After all, should we decide to work together in designing your ceremony, I am going to want to know who you are and what matters to you. So it’s only fair that I invite you to get to know more about me and how I’ve come to think about the work I do.

And perhaps the best way to do both is to begin with my own weddings, or how I learned that there are many ways to ‘bake a wedding cake,’ whatever stage you are in your life, and that all of them are delicious.

Let’s flash back to 1979. I got married in a silver designer dress in an elegant loft with a stunning, starlit view of the Empire State Building in New York City. We hired a wedding consultant and caterer, a ten piece 1920’s band, invited 150 guests, were married by a rabbi with the witness of my mother, brother and two stepdaughters–and we had a grand time.

We went on in our life together to have our own two children and worked very hard at melding the two families. This is generally a challenging endeavor, but I believe we invested our full determination to make it work. It required having all of us together facing both the importance and the stickiness of such a situation and not being discouraged by it that made us successful as a unified, supportive family.

You may hear me say often, in varying ways, that the secret ingredients to handling any difficulty among people are love and the kindness of understanding. Sometimes it’s really hard to get that perspective, yet it is one well worth aiming for because it makes managing life and relationships so much easier.

So, our marriage carried on and we shared great joys and managed to resolve our tribulations. I cherish those many years of my life even though the marriage came to an end.

Years later I was deeply fortunate to have met the man in the photo above. I believe if we allow our hearts to remain open, even after painful disappointment, we hold onto the possibility of a second time around at sincere love.

In 2012 we decided to have a commitment ceremony. This time I wore a mint green dress purchased in a thrift shop, the ceremony took place on my small, simple deck facing the Pacific Ocean at sunset, music came from iTunes on our computer, the seven guests were our four children and their partners and our friend, an interfaith minister performed the rites. Dinner was an organic meal; warmth and intimacy abounded.

It was all good. There was a great deal of joy in both and each ritual-celebration reflected where I was at the time. Whenever it occurs, we each deserve to have the ceremony of our current imagination that reflects our love and commitment to one another. And that is the kind of experience that I want to create with you.

–Rev. Lynn

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